Short funny stories in english part 7
Read and enjoy it. Hope you have fun when you read short funny stories in english
At school one morning, the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast. Little Johnny said, “Well, on my way to school I come cross this apple tree, so I climbed up there and started eating apples. I guess I eat about six,” said little Johnny.
“No,” said the teacher, “It’s ate!”
Little Johnny said, “Well it could’ve been eight, I don’t remember.”
What is a debtor, Pa?”
“A man who owes money.”
“And what is a creditor?”
“The man who thinks he is going to get it.”
The Master of the House
A solicitor for the Red Cross called upon a well-to-do young couple for a donation. Hearing a commotion inside he knocked extra-loudly on the door.
A somewhat disheveled man admitted him in. “What can I do for you?” he growled, clearly upset about something.
“I would like to speak to the master of the house,” said the solicitor politely.
“Then you’re just in time,” barked the young man. “My wife and I are settling that very question right now!”
A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies.
The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, “This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual.”
“Why is that?” the mother asked.
“We ate a third of the cookies on the way home,” he replied.
Fellow Bought a New Mercedes
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph, he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him.
“There ain’t no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to himself, and opened her up further.
The needle hit 90, 100, 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him.
“What on earth am I doing?” he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.
“I’ve had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don’t feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before you can go!”
“Last week my wife ran off with a cop,” the man said, “and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”
“Have a nice night,” said the officer.