Short funny stories in english part 4

Short funny stories in english part 4

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>>> Short funny stories in english

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Practical Farmer

A candidate for Congress from a certain Western state was never shy about telling the voters why they should send him to Washington.

“I am a practical farmer,” he said, boastfully, at one meeting. “I can plow, reap, milk cows, shoe a horse–in fact, I should like you to tell me one thing about a farm which I can not do.”

Then, in the impressive silence, a voice asked from the back of the hall: “Can you lay an egg?”


Short funny stories in english part 4

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>>> Funny short stories for kids

>>> Short funny stories in english

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The Rent

“That damn husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker,” the housewife told a neighbor.

“You didn’t do it, did you?”

“I have to admit I did — though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven’t done, though, is tell my husband I’d already paid the rent up for six months!”

Dog for Christmas

– Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?

– No, you can have turkey like everyone else!

The Same Name

5-year-old Nicholas was sitting on a department store Santa’s lap and told him, “My name’s the same as yours.”

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Santa’s helper blows his cover when he says, “Well, hello, Harold!”

Unusual Tattoos

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh, right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put “Happy Thanksgiving” under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good.

The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Clause with “Merry Christmas” up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.

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As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says, “If you don’t mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?”
She said, “I’m sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there’s nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas.”

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