Short funny family stories part 9

The best short funny family stories part 9. 

Read and enjoy it. Hope you have fun!

Read more:

>>> Best funny stories jokes

>>> Short funny stories in english

>>> Funny stories for kids

>>> Funny stories for adults

>>> Funny dirty jokes

 

Forced Delay

A young mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.”

The mother went in and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.”

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She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.” As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”

Forced Delay

Forced Delay – Short funny family storie

Wrong Email Address

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

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Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife

Subject: I’ve arrived Date: May 9th, 2005

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

 

Daddy Needs Some Freedom Too

A youngster is quarrelling with his parents:
“I’m sick and tired of being with you all the time, coming home at the right time. I want freedom, beer, girls! I’m going away and don’t try to stop me!”

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He is decidedly going towards the door. His father is coming up with him at the doorway.
“Daddy, I did tell you: don’t try to stop me!”

“I’m not stopping you, son. I’m going away with you!”

Professional Argument

The doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, “You aren’t that good in bed either!” By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone. “What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?” “I was in bed.” “What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?” “Getting a second opinion.”

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