Short funny family stories part 5

The best short funny family stories part 5. 

Read and enjoy it. Hope you have fun!

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Good Shot

Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on, standing in front of him, he looks up at her private parts he asks “What’s that mum?”

His mum frozen tried to think what to say, finally she came up with the following, “That’s where your dad accidentially hit me with an axe!” and little Harry replies,

“Good shot, right in the cunt!”

GOOD SHOT

GOOD SHOT – Short funny family stories

Wife’s Revenge

There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years. Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife’s annoyance.

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“You’ll fart your guts out one of these days,” she always complained. After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy’s arse. While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream. Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.
“You was right all along Missus,” the old man says, “I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push ’em back in!”

Compliment

A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband: ‘I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a compliment.’

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He replies, ‘Your eyesight is perfect.’

Husband’s Dream

An older couple wake up in the morning and the husband looks over at the woman and says, ‘Wow! You wouldn’t believe the dream I had…’ And the woman replied, ‘Yes, go on tell me.’ So the husband told her. ‘I had a dream that you left me after 20 years of being married.’ So the wife says, ‘Oh, it sounds more like a nightmare.’

The husband says, ‘No, I am sure it was a dream’.

Mommies’ Tummies

A little boy asked his father a question. “Dad, I know that babies come from mommies’ tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?” he asked innocently. After dad hemmed and hawed for a while, the kid finally spoke up in disgust.

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“You don’t have to make something up, Dad. It’s okay if you don’t know the answer.”

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