Humerous Quotes

Humerous Quotes

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" Don't worry about the world coming to an end today . It is already tomorrow in Australia " - Charles Schulz
” Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today . It is already tomorrow in Australia ” – Charles Schulz
" A sense of humor makes a MAN handsome "
” A sense of humor makes a MAN handsome “
I meant to behave ... but there were too many other options
I meant to behave … but there were too many other options
My great grandma started giggling at a barbecue and when i saked what's funny , she said " everyone here is alive because i got laid "
My great grandma started giggling at a barbecue and when i saked what’s funny , she said ” everyone here is alive because i got laid “
Square box , round pizza , triangle slices ... I'M CONFUSED !
Square box , round pizza , triangle slices … I’M CONFUSED !
If i won the award for laziness , I would send somebody to pick it up for me
If i won the award for laziness , I would send somebody to pick it up for me
Shopping is an art . I am an artist . Respect please
Shopping is an art . I am an artist . Respect please
" Nothing is better than the unintended humor of reality "
” Nothing is better than the unintended humor of reality “
Retire is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others , even though you never followed it in your own life
Retire is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others , even though you never followed it in your own life
" Opportunity does not knock , it presents itself when you beat down the door " - Kyle Chandler
” Opportunity does not knock , it presents itself when you beat down the door ” – Kyle Chandler
" Sometimes you need to look at Life from a different perspective "
” Sometimes you need to look at Life from a different perspective “
As long as everything's exactly the way i want it , I'm totally flexible
As long as everything’s exactly the way i want it , I’m totally flexible
Always borrow money from a pessimist . He won't expect it back
Always borrow money from a pessimist . He won’t expect it back
The correct way to weigh yourself : I can't believe i was doing it wrong these years
The correct way to weigh yourself : I can’t believe i was doing it wrong these years
Ugh ... Do i really have to go ? I would much rather stay home look like shit an do nothing
Ugh … Do i really have to go ? I would much rather stay home look like shit an do nothing
Life is like a cup of tea ... It's all in how you make it ...
Life is like a cup of tea … It’s all in how you make it …
Some days you eat salads and go to the gym . Some days you eat 20 tacos and drink margaritas . It's called balance
Some days you eat salads and go to the gym . Some days you eat 20 tacos and drink margaritas . It’s called balance
If someone calls you a crazy freak just thank them . Nothing throws people off like a proud , polite crazy freak
If someone calls you a crazy freak just thank them . Nothing throws people off like a proud , polite crazy freak
Sometimes we just miss the point
Sometimes we just miss the point
I tried to act normal " Worst 5 minutes " Of my life
I tried to act normal ” Worst 5 minutes ” Of my life
I almost gave a fuck scared the shit out myself
I almost gave a fuck scared the shit out myself
My soulmate is out there somewhere , pushing a pull door ... I just know it
My soulmate is out there somewhere , pushing a pull door … I just know it
HAPPY CHOOSE DAY ! We all have the right to choose ... and i choose to be around people that make me giggle , smile & enjoy my silly-ness !
HAPPY CHOOSE DAY ! We all have the right to choose … and i choose to be around people that make me giggle , smile & enjoy my silly-ness !
I'm just gonna . Park my ass right here
I’m just gonna . Park my ass right here
Women should know how to cook . Men should know how to cook . If you're a fucking adult you should know how to cook
Women should know how to cook . Men should know how to cook . If you’re a fucking adult you should know how to cook
" The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do " -Humerous Quotes
” The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do ” -Humerous Quotes
Just saw a squirrel trying to carry a wine bottle up a tree . I think i found my spirit animal
Just saw a squirrel trying to carry a wine bottle up a tree . I think i found my spirit animal
What doesn't kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor
What doesn’t kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor
If i had no sense of humor , i would long ago have committed suicide - Mahatma Gandhi
If i had no sense of humor , i would long ago have committed suicide – Mahatma Gandhi
There's no louder sound than the crunch of something . You're not supposed to be eating
There’s no louder sound than the crunch of something . You’re not supposed to be eating

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