Funny quats

Funny quats

Read and enjoy Funny quats

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I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before new year and when they arrive i'll say i ordered this a year ago , LOL
I’m gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before new year and when they arrive i’ll say i ordered this a year ago , LOL
8 planets , 204 countries , 809 islands , 7 seas , 6.000.000.000 + people , AND I'M SINGLE
8 planets , 204 countries , 809 islands , 7 seas , 6.000.000.000 + people , AND I’M SINGLE
Thanks to facebook . I now know what everyone's bathroom looks like !
Thanks to facebook . I now know what everyone’s bathroom looks like !
The idea is to die young as late possible
The idea is to die young as late possible
Life is so funny sometimes that you just have to laugh
Life is so funny sometimes that you just have to laugh
My wallet is like an onion when i open it makes me cry - Funny quats
My wallet is like an onion when i open it makes me cry – Funny quats
Life Lessons because she knows it's safer than a sting ray
Life Lessons because she knows it’s safer than a sting ray
" Twitter is stupid , and Instagram is Twitter for people can't read
” Twitter is stupid , and Instagram is Twitter for people can’t read
Problem - Solved . I don't care to date the most beautiful woman in the world ... I want the woman who makes the world the most beautiful to me
Problem – Solved . I don’t care to date the most beautiful woman in the world … I want the woman who makes the world the most beautiful to me
Facebook - Wasting people lives since 2004
Facebook – Wasting people lives since 2004
Dip me in chocolate And call me dessert
Dip me in chocolate And call me dessert
I've had great success being a total idiot - Funny quats
I’ve had great success being a total idiot – Funny quats
I changed my password everywhere to " INCORRECT " . That way when i forget it . It always reminds me " YOUR PASSWORD IS INCORRECT "
I changed my password everywhere to ” INCORRECT ” . That way when i forget it . It always reminds me ” YOUR PASSWORD IS INCORRECT “
Every kid today wants to be Batman , Superman or Spider-Man . Personally , i blame the parents . If parents were better at parenting , kids wouldn't want to be orphans
Every kid today wants to be Batman , Superman or Spider-Man . Personally , i blame the parents . If parents were better at parenting , kids wouldn’t want to be orphans
Don't take life so seriously . It's not like you're going to get out alive
Don’t take life so seriously . It’s not like you’re going to get out alive
Don't know where your kids are in the house ? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly
Don’t know where your kids are in the house ? Turn off the internet and they’ll show up quickly
That's why they call it the American Dream , because you have to be asleep to believe it
That’s why they call it the American Dream , because you have to be asleep to believe it
"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do " - Isaac Asimov
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do ” – Isaac Asimov
" If you think women are the weaker sex , try pulling the blankets back to your side " - Stuart Turner
” If you think women are the weaker sex , try pulling the blankets back to your side ” – Stuart Turner
ANGER MANAGEMENT - When angry with someone , it helps to sit down and think about the problem
ANGER MANAGEMENT – When angry with someone , it helps to sit down and think about the problem
The only reason i'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality
The only reason i’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality
" Put 'eat chocolate ' at the top of your list of things to do today . That way , at leat you'll get one thing done"
” Put ‘eat chocolate ‘ at the top of your list of things to do today . That way , at leat you’ll get one thing done”
I realize that humor isn't for everyone . It's only for people who want to have fun , enjoy life , and feel alive
I realize that humor isn’t for everyone . It’s only for people who want to have fun , enjoy life , and feel alive
" When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work , ask him :" Whose ?" " - Don Marquis
” When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work , ask him :” Whose ?” ” – Don Marquis
Help ! I'm having on by a thread ! - Oh my god. Could you give me a hand ? - Of course . Whoo , well done ! Great job ! Wait , never mind , i take that back
Help ! I’m having on by a thread ! – Oh my god. Could you give me a hand ? – Of course . Whoo , well done ! Great job ! Wait , never mind , i take that back
I know the voices in my head aren't real ... But sometimes their ideas are just absolutely AWESOME !
I know the voices in my head aren’t real … But sometimes their ideas are just absolutely AWESOME !
When you have nothing to do , do it on facebook
When you have nothing to do , do it on facebook
Haha . So we meet again ! - Funny quats
Haha . So we meet again ! – Funny quats
" Money won't make you HAPPY but everybody wants to find out for themselves "
” Money won’t make you HAPPY but everybody wants to find out for themselves “
I have decided to leave my past behind , so if owe you money , I'm sorry , but i've moved on
I have decided to leave my past behind , so if owe you money , I’m sorry , but i’ve moved on
When you listen to recording of your voice , you think ... That doesn't sound like me , that sounds like a cartoon character ... I thought the same thing whilst watching Finding Nemo .... Bad example
When you listen to recording of your voice , you think … That doesn’t sound like me , that sounds like a cartoon character … I thought the same thing whilst watching Finding Nemo …. Bad example
I saw dad with mom last night . I think he was stealing my milk
I saw dad with mom last night . I think he was stealing my milk
The Best Funny Stories Jokes And Quotes
Funny World Online. The Best Funny Stories Jokes And Quotes, Funny Videos... A collection of the funniest stories and jokes, videos, quotes, poetries, news...Hope you have fun :)

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