Funny people quotes

Funny people quotes!

Read and enjoy Funny people quotes!

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My children love my mother, all I tell my children "That is not the same women I grew up with... That is an old women trying to get into heaven now."
My children love my mother, all I tell my children “That is not the same women I grew up with… That is an old women trying to get into heaven now.”
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.
My goal this weekend is to move… just enough so people don’t think I’m dead.
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.
If people are talking bout you behind your back, then just fart!
If people are talking bout you behind your back, then just fart!
I love the people I can be weird with. Funny people quotes
I love the people I can be weird with.
Funny people quotes
"May the force be ever in your favor, Mr. Potter" - Gandalf
“May the force be ever in your favor, Mr. Potter”
– Gandalf
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. - Gracie Alle
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
– Gracie Alle
Skinny people are easier to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake.
Skinny people are easier to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake.
"Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose." - Bill Gates
“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.”
– Bill Gates
"How we treat the vulnerable is how we define ourselves as a special." - Russell Brand Funny people quotes
“How we treat the vulnerable is how we define ourselves as a special.”
– Russell Brand
Funny people quotes
just go for what you want to do.
just go for what you want to do.
Billy Tauzin is one of the most interesting people in Washington. he is smart, funny, and interesting. - Tucker Carlson
Billy Tauzin is one of the most interesting people in Washington. he is smart, funny, and interesting.
– Tucker Carlson
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.
Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet. - Bob marley
Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
– Bob marley
"Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel." Funny people quotes
“Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel.”
Funny people quotes
"The funniest people are the saddest ones." - Confucius
“The funniest people are the saddest ones.”
– Confucius
"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order."
“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.”
Life is not that complicated. You get up, you go to work, eat three meals, you take one good shit and you go back to bed. What's the fucking mystery?" - George Carlin
Life is not that complicated. You get up, you go to work, eat three meals, you take one good shit and you go back to bed. What’s the fucking mystery?”
– George Carlin
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
"It doesn't make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they an tell us what to do." - Steve Jobs Funny people quotes
“It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they an tell us what to do.”
– Steve Jobs
Funny people quotes
I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird. - Frank Zappa
I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
– Frank Zappa
Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present. - Albert Camus
Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.
– Albert Camus
When I give a speech on the stage. I always try to look for my friends and smile.
When I give a speech on the stage. I always try to look for my friends and smile.
Sometimes the funniest people don't know that they're funny - like the administrators in my high school. - Vanessa Bayer
Sometimes the funniest people don’t know that they’re funny – like the administrators in my high school.
– Vanessa Bayer
You'll have bad times, but it'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to. - Robin Williams Funny people quotes
You’ll have bad times, but it’ll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to.
– Robin Williams
Funny people quotes
The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually living a good life.
The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually living a good life.
I care for you and I'm willing for you. but if someone cares for you better than I do, I would give up the fight because just seeing you happy know I've already won! - Abhishek Tiwari
I care for you and I’m willing for you. but if someone cares for you better than I do, I would give up the fight because just seeing you happy know I’ve already won!
– Abhishek Tiwari
I miss that days when homework was just.. coloring...
I miss that days when homework was just.. coloring…
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. - George Carlin. Funny people quotes
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
– George Carlin.
Funny people quotes
The Best Funny Stories Jokes And Quotes
Funny World Online. The Best Funny Stories Jokes And Quotes, Funny Videos... A collection of the funniest stories and jokes, videos, quotes, poetries, news...Hope you have fun :)

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