Funny doctor stories

The best funny doctor stories

Read and enjoy it. Hope you have fun when you read the best funny doctor stories.

Three Vaginas

A woman goes to a doctors and says, “Doctor, I’ve got a problem. You see, I was born with 3 vaginas. What can you do for me?”

The doctor gets the woman onto the table and examines her. Sure enough, she has three vaginas, side by side.

After a moments thought the doctor goes to his desk, opens a draw and gets out a roll of duct tape. He then proceeds to tear off two strips and places them over the woman’s two outer vaginas.

“Ok then,” says the doctor when he’s finished, “you can get dressed and go now.”

THREE VAGINAS

THREE VAGINAS – Funny doctor jokes

“Has that cured my problem then?” asks the woman.

“Not really,” says the doctor, “but at least it’ll stop you getting screwed left and right.”

Rabinowicz Goes to the Doctor

Mr. Rabinowicz goes to the doctor for a check up.

After extensive tests the doctor tells him, “I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. You only have six months to live.”

Mr. Rabinowicz is dumbstruck. After a while he replies, “That’s terrible doctor. But I must admit to you that I can’t afford to pay your bill.”

“Ok,” says the doctor, “I’ll give you a year to live.”

Benefit

A man visiting a doctor says, “Doctor I just dropped in to tell you how much I benefited from your treatment.”

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The doctor replied, “But you are not one of my patients.”

The man said, “I know. But my uncle Bill was, and I am his heir.”

Beautiful Woman Goes to a Gynecologist

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window.

Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.

As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m doing?”

“Yes,” she says, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatolegical abnormalities.”

BENEFIT

BENEFIT – Funny doctor jokes

“That’s right,” says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.

“Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asks.

“Yes,” says the woman, “you’re checking for any lumps of breast cancer.”

“That’s right,” replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, “Do you know what I’m doing now?”

“Yes,” she says. “You’re getting herpes.”

Flu

The patient sat there looking ill and asked, “Flu?”

The doctor replied, “No, I came on my bicycle actually!”

FLU

FLU – Funny doctor jokes

Very Simple Operation

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.

“What’s the matter?” he was asked.

He said, “I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be all right.'”

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VERY SIMPLE OPERATION

VERY SIMPLE OPERATION – Best funny doctor jokes

“She was just trying to comfort you, what’s so frightening about that?”

“She wasn’t talking to me. She was talking to the doctor.”

Nurse

The nurse was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor spotted her. The supervisor couldn’t believe it: The nurse’s hair was unkempt, her dress wrinkled, and to top off her overall dishevelment, one of her breasts was hanging out of the open front of her uniform!

“Miss Jennings! How can you account for parading around the hospital not only looking like a derelict, but with your breast exposed!”

NURSE

NURSE – Best funny doctor jokes

“Oh,” said the nurse, as she stuffed her breast into her uniform, “It’s those darn interns! They never put anything back when they’re through using it!”

Like a Dill Pickle

Two gynecologists meet at lunch.
The first one says, “I had a patient this morning with a clit like a dill pickle.
The second one says, “That big or that green?” The first one says,”That Sour.”

LIKE A DILL PICKLE

LIKE A DILL PICKLE – Funny doctor jokes

Like a Melon

During an international gynecology conference, an English doctor and a French doctor were discussing unusual cases they had treated recently.

“Only last week,” the Frenchman said, “a woman came to see me with a clitoris like a melon!”

“Don’t be absurd,” the Brit exclaimed. “It couldn’t have been that big — she wouldn’t have been able to walk if it were.”

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LIKE A MELON

LIKE A MELON – Funny doctor jokes

“Aah, you English, always thinking about size,” replied the Frenchman. “I was talking about the flavor!”

Split Personality

Doctor: Mr.Townsend, I think you’re suffering from a split personality.

Mr.Townsend: No, we’re not.

Ninety

Doctor: Dont worry your health is fine. You’ll live to be ninety.

Patient: But, doctor, I already ninety years old right now.

Doctor: See, what did I tell you.

NINETY

NINETY – Funny doctor jokes

 

Eye Checking

Patient: Why are you checking my eyes while its my foot which is injured?

Doctor: I wanted to know what happened to your eyes when you left your foot inside the gutter.

EYE CHECKING

EYE CHECKING – Funny doctor jokes

Have You Had This Before

Doctor: Have you had this before?

Patient: Yes.

Doctor: Well, you’ve got it again…

Back on Feet

Patti: You were right, Doctor, when you said you’d have me on my feet and walking around in no time.

Doctor: I’m happy to hear it. When did you start walking?

Patti: Right after I sold my car to pay your bill.

BACK ON FEET

BACK ON FEET – Funny doctor jokes

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