Funny blonde jokes

The best Funny blonde jokes

IDK

Blonde: “What does IDK stand for?”

Brunette: “I Don’t Know.”

Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”

IDK

IDK – Funny blonde jokes

Blondes On a Desert Island

Three blondes are stuck on a desert island and one finds a magic lamp. They rub it and a genie pops out and gives them each a wish.

The first blonde says, “I wish I was 10% smarter so I could get off of this island.” Then she turns into a redhead and swims off the island.

The second sees what happens and says, “I wish I was 25% smarter so that I can get off this island!” She then turns into a brunette, makes a raft from trees and sails off.

Blondes On a Desert Island

Blondes On a Desert Island – Funny blonde jokes

Finally, the third blonde says, “I wish I was 50% smarter so I can get off this island.” She then suddenly turns into a man and walks across the bridge.

 

Discussing Boyfriends

A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends.

Brunette: “Last night I had three orgasms in a row!”

Blonde: “That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred.”

Discussing Boyfriends

Discussing Boyfriends – Funny blonde jokes

Brunette: “My god! I had no idea he was that good.”

Blonde: (looking shocked) “Oh, you mean with one guy?”

Magic Mirror

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, “Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!”

The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, “I think I’m the most beautiful of us three,” and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.

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The redhead stepped up and said, “I think I’m the most talented of us three,” and she suddenly found the key to a brand new Porsche in her hands.

Magic Mirror

Magic Mirror – Funny blonde jokes

Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, “I think…” and was promptly sucked into the mirror.

Home From Work

Three women worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, the boss left work early. One day, the women decided that when the boss left they would leave too. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, had some playtime with her son and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband. But when she got home, she heard a muffled noise coming from inside her bedroom. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

Home From Work

Home From Work – Funny blonde jokes

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead said they planned to leave early again and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. “No way,” she said, “I almost got caught yesterday!”

State Capitals

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her “Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state capitals or something?” The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, “I’m not a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name all the state capitals!” The guy doesn’t believe her, so she dares him to test her.

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State Capitals

State Capitals – Funny blonde jokes

He says “Okay, what’s the Capital of Montana?” The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, “That’s easy! It’s M!”

Glass of Milk

After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to replenish his justspent energy.

Glass of Milk

Glass of Milk – Funny blonde jokes

He pours himself a glass of milk and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot, so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde walks in and says, “Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those.”

Cold Balls

Three blondes are talking about their boyfriends.

“It’s funny,” says Samantha, “Peter’s balls are always cold as ice when I’m giving him a blowjob!”

“You know what?” replies Jenny, “It’s exactly the same with my Richard!”

They turn to the third blonde and ask: “When you blow Chris, are his balls cold, also?”

“Ugh! That’s disgusting! I never put his thing in my mouth!”

“You’re crazy,” one of the blondes pipes up. “A good blowjob is the best way to keep a guy! You should try it!”

She says she’ll think about it.

The next morning, they meet at the cafe and the blowjob novice is sporting a wicked shiner.

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“Whoa!” the first blonde asks, “How did you get that black eye?!”

“Chris hit me when I was blowing him,” she said.

“What on earth for?!” the second blonde asks.

Cold Balls

Cold Balls – Funny blonde jokes

“I don’t know,” she replies. “All I did was tell him how strange it was that his balls were so warm, seeing as Pete and Richard’s are so cold!”

Blonde Fox Stuck in a Trap

Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a

trap?

Blonde Fox Stuck in a Trap

Blonde Fox Stuck in a Trap – Funny blonde jokes

She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Boss Tells a Blonde Applicant…

A boss tells a blonde applicant, “I’ll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I’ll raise it to $10 an hour.

Boss Tells a Blonde Applicant...

Boss Tells a Blonde Applicant – Funny blonde jokes

So, when would you like to start?” “After three months sir.”

No AIDS

A guy is screwing a great looking blonde. The girl asks, “You haven’t got AIDS, have you?” He replies, “No.” She responds,

No AIDS

No AIDS – Funny blonde jokes

“Oh, thank heavens for that! I don’t want to get that again…!”

Blond and Computer

How do you know a blond has been using your computer?

Blond and Computer

Blond and Computer – Funny blonde jokes

When the joy stick is wet!

Finger For a Blond

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend,

Finger For a Blond

Finger For a Blond – Funny blonde jokes

“Is it true that if you pull you finger out, I’ll sink?”

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The Best Funny Stories Jokes And Quotes
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