Best funny stories part 2

Best part 2

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>>> Best funny stories jokes

>>> Short funny stories in english

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>>> Funny dirty jokes

The Dirty Pig

One fine day, a dirty pig was soaking himself in a pool. A thirsty lion came to drink water, but unable to bear the heavy stench went away. The foolish pig thought that the lion cowed down seeing him and excitedly challenged him to a duel. “Maybe tomorrow,” replied the lion and turned away from the smelly pig. The pig went h6me and told his parents how he had challenged a coward lion. “What have you done you, foolish pig?

The dirty pig - Best funny stories

The dirty pig –

It’s not you but your stench that made him run away,” explained his father. The dirty pig’s excitement crashed instantly. His father suggested that he should leisurely roll in the dirty waters so that he might stink even more and then meet the lion. The pig listened to his father. As soon as the lion approached him, the foul smell spread around and he ran away unable to bear it. Since then, pigs always keep themselves dirty so that no animal might come near them.

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Work, Work, Work

  1. man was going through a forest. He was tired and sat under a tree to rest.

Near the tree were some bushes. In the bushes he heard a whistle. The man got up and went to look. He saw a bottle lying under a bush. The whistle was coming from inside the bottle.

The man opened the bottle to look inside. Immediately a lot of black smoke came out from the bottle. The smoke rose high in the sky. Then the smoke turned into a ghost. It was a big ghost, as tall as a tree.

The ghost was red in colour. He had red eyes, and large golden earrings in his ears. He roared, “Give me some work or I shall eat you up.” The man was very frightened. “W-what sort of work do you want ?” he asked the ghost.

“Any kind of work,” the ghost replied. “You have let me out from the bottle, so you have to give me work to do. I must keep working, day and night. The moment you stop giving me work, I shall eat you up.”

work worrk work - The dirty pig - Best funny stories

work worrk work – The dirty pig – Best funny stories

“Take me to my house,” the man said. The ghost picked up the man. In half a second he reached the man’s house. Again he said, “Give me some work to do or I shall eat you up.” “Make me a big palace,” the man said.

In a few minutes the palace was ready. The ghost again said loudly, “Give me some work or I shall eat you up.”

“Get me plenty of gold and jewels,” the man said. Soon the gold and jewels were there. “Give me some work or I shall eat you up,” the ghost said.

“Get me nice clothes to wear.” At once the ghost brought the clothes. “Give me some work or I shall eat you up,” the ghost said.

“Get me some food.” In a second the man found the table loaded with delicious food. He tried to eat, but he got no time. The ghost again said, “Give me some work or I shall eat you up.”

The man kept on giving work to the ghost. He could not eat at all. When night came the ghost would not let him sleep. “Give me some work or I shall eat you up,” he said.

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The man got very worried. How could he eat ? How could he sleep? If he did not find more and more work, the ghost would eat him up.

Then the man had an idea. He told the ghost, “Make me a tall pillar, as high as the sky. And be quick.”

In just a few minutes the ghost was back. “The pillar is ready,” he said. “Now give me some work or I shall eat you up.”

“Now listen carefully,” the man said. “Climb up the pillar till you reach the top. Then climb down till you reach the earth. Then climb up to the top and come down again. Keep on doing so till I tell you to stop. And mind you don’t waste anytime.”

The ghost was very happy, for he now had plenty to do. He went up the pillar, came down, went up, came down. He went on doing so.

The man watched for some time. Then he went inside and ate the food the ghost had brought. After that he went off to sleep.

Next morning he got up and went outside. He saw the ghost going up and down the pillar all the time. The man was very happy.

Many days passed. The ghost kept on going up and down the pillar. At the end of a month he was still doing it. He now felt a little tired. “Please sir,” he said to the man, “may I stop now ? I have been going up and down the pillar for a month.”

“How can you stop ?” the man said. “You cannot stop till I tell you. So keep on going up and down the pillar.”

Another three months passed. Now the ghost was really tired. “Sir,” he said, “I can’t do it any more. I must stop now.”

“You can stop on one condition,” the man said. You must go away from here, and never come back.”

“I promise,” the ghost said.

“Very well, you may stop now. And take away that pillar with you.”

The ghost picked up the pillar and ran away. The man never saw him again.

 

Ramu and the Mangoes

A rich man lived in a small town in Tamil Nadu. One day he brought home two large and juicy mangoes. He gave them to his servent and said, “ Here Ramu, take these to the kitchen and cut them. Make two cup of coffee too. A friend of mine will be coming soon. Make the mangoes and coffee when he comes,”

Ramu took the mangoes to the kitchen and cut them with a knife. Then, to make sure they were not sour, he put one piece in his mouth. Ah, how sweet it tasted! If I eat just one more piece, the master will never know,” he thought. He put one more piece into his mouth, one more… In a few minutes, the plate was empty!

Ramu felt a little frightened. The master was sure to beat him. Just then he heard his master calling, “Ramu, have you cut the mangoes ? Keep the coffee ready too. My friend will be here any minute.”

Poor Ramu. What was he to do now ? He had already eaten up the mangoes. He thought quickly, and got an idea. “Oh master,”he replied. “The knife is blunt. I can’t cut the mangoes with it.”

“You fool! Why didn’t you tell me earlier ?” the master shouted. “Bring the knife here. I’ll sharpen it for you.”

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RAMU AND THE MANGOES best funny stories

RAMU AND THE MANGOES – Best funny stories

Ramu took a large and blunt knife from the kitchen and gave it to his master. While the master was busy sharpening it, Ramu quietly went out of the house. He saw his master’s friend coming up the road. Ramu ran to meet him,. “Sir, sir,” he said to the friend, “have you had a fight with my master ? He says that he will cut off both your ears !”

The friend stared in surprise. “Fight ?” he said. “We didn’t really have a fight. But yesterday when he came to my house, I put on his chappals by mistake. Now why should he want to cut off my ears for a little thing like that?”

“I’m telling you, Sir, he wants to cut off your ears.” Ramu said again. “If you don’t believe  me. you can see for  yourself. But mind, don’t let him catch you!”

The friend crept up to an open window and saw the master of the house sharpening a big knife. “My goodness!” he cried. “He really wants to cut off my ears! I had better run away before he sees me.” He turned round and ran back the way he had come.

Ramu then ran to his master crying, “Master, master, your friend has taken both the mangoes. There he is, running away!”

The master looked up and saw his friend running away at top speed. He rushed out and ran after his friend. “Stop! Stop!” he shouted. “Keep one of them if you like, but let me have the other one!” The friend looked back and saw the master running after him with a big knife in one hand. He screamed in terror. Doubling his speed, he vanished in the distance.

The master soon gave up the chase and went back to his house. Calling Ramu, he said, “I never knew how greedy this man was, and a thief too! Thank you for telling me.” He then went out and came out with two more large and juicy mangoes. Giving them to Ramu, he said, “Here Ramu, you eat one. And cut the other one for me.”

 

Two and Three

In a small village in Himachal (A state in northern hilly region in India.) lived an old man and his wife. Both were over seventy and both loved one another. Only five other families lived in this tiny village.

One cold winter evening the old man and his wife were sitting inside their hut. Outside it was snowing. Suddenly the old man looked up and said, “I wish we could have some pakodas (Salty snacks prepared by frying vegetable mixed in gram flour batter). I very much feel like eating pakodas today.”

“I’ll see if there’s any besan (Gram flour) in the house,” his wife replied. She got up and opened the tin of besan. “Oh, there’s only a little bit here,” she said. “It’s too cold to go out and buy more. So I shall make pakodas from this little bit of besan.”

The old woman lighted the fire and made pakodas. She made five. She gave her husband three pakodas and herself took two.

But the old man would not take the palcodas. How can I eat three when you are getting only two ?” he said. “Take one pakoda from me.”

“Two pakodas are enough for me,” his wife replied. “It is you who asked for them. You take three now. Tomorrow I shall get more besan from the shop and make pakodas. I can then take one more than you.”

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“We’ll see about that later,” the old man said. “But today you must eat three pakodas.”

They kept arguing like this all evening. Night fell, but they had still not eaten the pakodas. At last they agreed on a plan. “It is quite late,” they said. “So let us go to sleep now. Tomorrow morning, the one who gets up first will have to eat three pakodas.”

So they both went to sleep. Morning came. But still they kept lying in bed, eyes closed. Each wanted the other to get up first, for each wanted the other one to have three pakodas. It grew quite late and the sun rose high in the sky. But still they would not get up. The neighbours saw that their door was still closed. They got worried.

“What is the matter with the old couple ?” they said. “They still have not got up. Let us go and find out if they are all right.”

The neighbours went and knocked at the door. They called out to the old couple, but there was no reply from inside. Then the neighbours hammered at the door with their fists. But still the door remained closed. Now they got really worried. “We shall have to break the door,” they said. “The old people may be ill.”

So they brought an axe and broke open the door. They then went in and saw the old man and his wife lying on their cots with eyes closed. “Oh no,” they said. “They are both dead! Let us take them to the burning place.”

When the old man heard this he shot up in alarm. He realised that they would both be burnt alive. “Oh very well,” he cried. “I shall eat three andyou can eat the other two.” On hearing this the old woman also shot up and cried, “That’s what I’ve been telling you all this time. If you had listened to me, we could have eaten them last night. We wouldn’t have gone hungry all night then. But we can eat them now.”

When the neighbours heard this they were alarmed. They ran out of the door shouting. “Run! Run for your life! The ghosts of the old man and his wife are after us! They are going to eat us all up! The old man’s ghost will eat up three families, and his wife’s ghost will eat up the other two families in the village !”

The old man and his wife were surprised. They ran after the neighbours to tell them that they were not ghosts. At this the neighbours were even more frightened. They ran faster still.

Much later the old man and his wife told the neighbours about the pakodas. When they heard this, they burst out laughing. That day the old woman brought more besan from the shop and made lots of pakodas. Then she invited everyone in the village for a feast of pakodas. You see, she was sorry that she and her old man had given everyone such a fright.

 

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The Best Funny Stories Jokes And Quotes
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