Best funny sayings and quotes

Best funny sayings and quotes 

Read and enjoy Best funny sayings and quotes 

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>>> Best humorous quotes

>>> Best phrases of friendship

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>>> Funny love sayings

" Did you just fall ?" . " No . I attacked the floor ." " Backwards ?" " I'm freaking talented!"
” Did you just fall ?” . ” No . I attacked the floor .” ” Backwards ?” ” I’m freaking talented!”
" I heard that Spider-Man was actually a comic book before it was a movie ... is this true ?
” I heard that Spider-Man was actually a comic book before it was a movie … is this true ?
That awkward moment when you think you're alone in a public restroom about to poop , then someone walks in
That awkward moment when you think you’re alone in a public restroom about to poop , then someone walks in
I love how in scary movies the person yells out " Hello ?" . As if the killer is going to be like " Yeah" i'm in the kitchen , want a sandwich ?
I love how in scary movies the person yells out ” Hello ?” . As if the killer is going to be like ” Yeah” i’m in the kitchen , want a sandwich ?
Wow , you really going to fight with me on the internet ? What's the worst you can do ? Caps - lock me to death ?
Wow , you really going to fight with me on the internet ? What’s the worst you can do ? Caps – lock me to death ?
D.R.A.M.A . Dumb . Retards . Asking for . More . Attention
D.R.A.M.A . Dumb . Retards . Asking for . More . Attention
The heart is a muscle , ... and what do muscles do when they're tom ? They grow back STRONGER
The heart is a muscle , … and what do muscles do when they’re tom ? They grow back STRONGER
I would like to apologize to anyone . I have not offended . Please be patient . I will get to you shortly - Best funny sayings and quotes
I would like to apologize to anyone . I have not offended . Please be patient . I will get to you shortly – Best funny sayings and quotes
I'm great in bed . I can sleep for days
I’m great in bed . I can sleep for days
I'm sorry . I don't mean to stare . It's just ... I've never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
I’m sorry . I don’t mean to stare . It’s just … I’ve never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
Home alone ! Expectation : Party ! Party ! Reality : Peeing with the door open
Home alone ! Expectation : Party ! Party ! Reality : Peeing with the door open
Sometimes we don't say what we mean in fear of being different
Sometimes we don’t say what we mean in fear of being different
Who says nothing is impossible . I've been doing nothing for years
Who says nothing is impossible . I’ve been doing nothing for years
Shopping í better than sex . At least if you're not satisfied . You can exchange it for something you really like
Shopping í better than sex . At least if you’re not satisfied . You can exchange it for something you really like
Save the earth . It's the only planet with CHOCOLATE
Save the earth . It’s the only planet with CHOCOLATE
Teacher :" Why are you talking during my lesson?" . Student :"Why are you teaching during my conversation "
Teacher :” Why are you talking during my lesson?” . Student :”Why are you teaching during my conversation “
My parents should be proud of me because i'm addicted to facebook . Not to drugs ! - Best funny sayings and quotes
My parents should be proud of me because i’m addicted to facebook . Not to drugs ! – Best funny sayings and quotes
Funny , how just when you think life cannot possibly get any worse it suddenly does . Douglas Adams . The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Funny , how just when you think life cannot possibly get any worse it suddenly does . Douglas Adams . The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
OH , so you wanna argue ? BRING IT . I got my caps lock ON
OH , so you wanna argue ? BRING IT . I got my caps lock ON
What if you are IN HELL & you're mad at someone where do you tell them to go ?
What if you are IN HELL & you’re mad at someone where do you tell them to go ?
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life

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I WAS NORMAL until i met a bunch of loser . These days , i call those losers MY BEST FRIENDS
I WAS NORMAL until i met a bunch of loser . These days , i call those losers MY BEST FRIENDS
SARCASM . The witty will have fun , but the STUPID won't get it
SARCASM . The witty will have fun , but the STUPID won’t get it
It's all fun & games until the cops get called ... Then it's hide & seek !
It’s all fun & games until the cops get called … Then it’s hide & seek !
At night , i can't sleep . In the morning . I can't wake up - Best funny sayings and quotes
At night , i can’t sleep . In the morning . I can’t wake up – Best funny sayings and quotes
Me and you is friends . You smile , i smile ... You hurt , i hurt ... YOu cry , i cry ... YOu jump off Bridge . I gonna miss your E-Mails
Me and you is friends . You smile , i smile … You hurt , i hurt … YOu cry , i cry … YOu jump off Bridge . I gonna miss your E-Mails
Do not interrupt me when i am talking to myself
Do not interrupt me when i am talking to myself
I'm in SHAPE . Round is a shape
I’m in SHAPE . Round is a shape
Without STUPID PEOPLE we would have no one to laugh at . Take the time and thank a stupid person for their contribution
Without STUPID PEOPLE we would have no one to laugh at . Take the time and thank a stupid person for their contribution
My day . Morning-" Laziness" . Afternoon - " Dying for a rest " . Night-"Can't sleep"
My day . Morning-” Laziness” . Afternoon – ” Dying for a rest ” . Night-“Can’t sleep”
Keep calm , smile , and say " Fuck you "
Keep calm , smile , and say ” Fuck you “
The Best Funny Stories Jokes And Quotes
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