Funny doctor stories part 3
Read and enjoy it. Hope you have fun when you read the best funny doctor stories.
How It Hurts
A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions.
She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?”
The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it’s difficult to describe pain.”
“I know, but can’t you give me some idea?” she asks.
“Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little…”
“A little more…”
“No. A little more…”
“Yes. Does that hurt?”
“A little bit.”
“Now stretch it over your head!”
HOW IT HURTS – Funny doctor stories
One day, a man went to the doctor because he was getting a burning sensation every time that he pooped. The doctor told him that in order to get rid of it, he would need to clean out his colon once a week for the next month. He gave the man a cleaning rod and shoved it up his butt for the first cleaning.
The man took the rod home and a week later tried to attempt the cleaning himself. However, he couldn’t get it in at the right angle by himself so he called in his wife. She sympathetically shoved it up and cleaned his colon for him when he let out a gasp. “What is it Sweetheart?” asked his wife.
“I just realized,” answered the man “that when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders!”
BURNING SENSATION – Funny doctor jokes
Birth Control Pills
An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?”
The woman responded, “They help me sleep better.”
The doctor thought some more and continued, “How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?”
The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice and I sleep better at night.”
BIRTH CONTROL PILLS – Funny medical jokes
A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn’t really ethical to screw one of his patients.
However, a little voice in his head said “Lots of other doctors have sex with their patients so its not like you’re the first…”
This made the doctor feel a little bit better until still another voice in his head said, “… but they probably weren’t veterinarians”